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David DeLong Writer of Workforce Issues

It’s painful to watch family members — young or old — struggle to find a job. It’s that time of year when many new college grads are facing the job market for the first time. Or maybe you have an older child looking for their second or third position, or even a spouse who is back on the employment market. You want to help, of course. But what can you do?

A while back, veteran Fortune Magazine writer Anne Fisher interviewed me about how parents can help their children land a good job. See her helpful CNN/Fortune blog post here on “4 ways to help your college kid find a job.” In reality, these tips are good for helping job seekers of any age. And below are three more tips for those looking to help family members in a job search – without being annoying.

1. What’s an ATS anyway?

Casually, ask your child (or spouse) if they know what an “Applicant Tracking System” is. (They’re often called “ATS”). When they give you a puzzled look, encourage them to go to the Internet to research this term. (Or read the chapter in my book Graduate to a Great Job.) ATS are one of the least understood and biggest barriers to successful job searches today. Unless job seekers understand how an ATS processes resumes the chances of getting an interview are very slim. Bottom line: Stop sending out resumes until you understand how an ATS works. You must learn to format your resume to get through the recruiter’s complex computer screening process.

2. Do you know a great proofreader?

Face it, creating a resume is a pain in the butt. And creating a resume when you have limited experience in a highly competitive job market is even more distressing. To make matters worse, there is tons of conflicting advice out there about how to do it. Still, every job seeker has to create something to even be in the game for jobs, or internships.

If your college student is not getting enough helpful advice on resume writing from their school’s career center, then blow ten bucks on an excellent book like Resume 101, which offers a practical, student-friendly process for getting that resume done. Your first job, as a parent, is to offer to proof read the thing. If nothing else, you can help by eliminating typos. Hiring managers complain about sloppy errors constantly.

Mistakes on resumes are one of the first things potential employers use to reject applicants.

3. Be encouraging in the face of endless rejection.

Looking for a job may be the hardest thing your child has ever done. The volume of rejections – or worse, no response at all – can be a morale killer. Look for small wins to applaud. Finishing a sharp-looking resume, completing a couple of productive informational interviews, and becoming a finalist in a large pool of applicants are all accomplishments that deserve praise in this emotionally wrenching process. Keep pointing out those little victories.

Watching your child (or spouse) engage in a post-college job search can be very frustrating. But it’s a battle they must learn to fight – and win – themselves. The stuff they have to learn to successfully pursue a career in today’s market can be overwhelming. And, like all of us, new grads don’t know what they don’t know! In the end, you can’t get them a great job, but there are lots of little things you can do to make the journey more productive and pleasant. See more ideas for helping in the CNN/Fortune Blog Post.